With its numerous nuances and exceptions to its basic rules, English is definitely a strange language, making it terribly difficult to master. Today I append a posting that was found in the WordPress (Liana) that I thought confirmed my haunch all these years that English is build by the arrogant people with scant regard for its own rules. Truly ypical of British nonchalance and arrogance.
Let’s Face It. English Is a Stupid Language.
There is no egg in the eggplant,
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England,
French fries were not invented in France.
We sometimes take English for granted, but if we examine its paradoxes we find that:
Quicksand takes you down slowly,
Boxing rings are square,
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
If writers write, how come fingers don’t fing?
If the plural of tooth is teeth,
Shouldn’t the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?
If the teacher taught,
Why hasn’t the preacher praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
What the heck does a humanitarian eat?
Why do people recite at a play,
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways?
How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day
And as cold as hell on another?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where a house can burn up as it burns down,
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
English was invented by people, not computers,
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn’t a race at all.)
That is why:
When the stars are out they are visible,
But when the lights are out they are invisible.
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
But when I wind up this poem
If you are at all acquainted with the English language, you may have noticed some common sayings and words in there that are really silly, once you come to think of it. For example, why is it called a boxing ring when it is actually a square? Why is the load of the ship referred to as cargo, but when a truck carries a load on land, that is referred to as shipping? Actors recite a play for an audience, but then they play at a recital. See? It doesn’t make sense! But that is English, unfortunately. That is also one of the reasons why English is such a hard language to speak fluently – incorporating all its nuances. Ask me – I’ve been there. There are so many things you simply have to know.
If you want to read more about the silliness of English, there is this poem. It is unfortunately not the original one that inspired this post – that one was printed in my English handbook and I can’t find it – but most of the cartoons of this post are also illustrations from it.
Now, without further ado (cliché!), let’s have a giggle!
You would not believe how many “desert peaches” I’ve seen at the grocer. I always wonder if they are all sandy and dry. And I’ve also had several people ask me if I would live in a dessert. “No, I don’t think so. It would probably be very sticky. And sickly.” Then they look at me as if I’ve gone mad.
What the hell just happened there? Please excuse the language: I just felt that was the only suitable comment to use.
Yes. And if fire fighters fight fires, what then do freedom fighters fight?
Why do we drive on parkways…
… and park on driveways?
Oh. Well, I just asked the dictionary, and apparently the word “pineapple” is derived from the Middle English word for “pinecone”. The fruit seems to have reminded whoever named it of a pinecone. If you say so. I can’t say I really see the resemblance. Except maybe in the shape.
So sometimes the connections do make sense. A lot of the time they do not, however. But no-one can deny that English is a creative language!
I hope you all have a great week!