Passing fifty and not realising it

On Monday, out of the blue, the deputy director asked me how old am I. And it dawned upon me suddenly that I was 50 years old last Tuesday week. I was busy attending a meeting chaired by the Secretary General on that day and I did not have time to think about the momentous day due to extreme fire fighting scenes at the office. To rub salt to the wound, the wifey was away, the children were busy wth their schedule. Having said that, I must thank the Faiz and Syazwan for the necktie.All the birthday notes,understanably, came frrom the credit card companies (maybe beause I am a very important client, I owe them a hefty sum) and the social networking clubs such as Netlog, facebook, gmail etc. Actually the day passed by normally – quiet and uneventful. Maybe the day was marked by the expression of the Secretary General unhappiess over the way we run EduwebTV.
I was worried because going by normal standard I have only about 13 years to repent and build up my capital for the Hereafter. Even if I were to pray 24 hours a day, I do not think I can cover all those sins and hedge enough capital for the Hereafter. One ustaz told me during one of those few post Maghrib tazkirahs that I had the opportunity to attend, we realy need the shafaat of Prophet Muhammad to go to heaven since our good deeds alone may not be sufficient.
On this golden anniversary of my being, I pray that I would be able to perform my duties as a muslim as good as possible. With all the ailments that I am carrying, you never know how much longer I have or how much longer Allah would grace me his kindness in terms of time. Being His servant we must continue our unending quests to seek His blessings and forgiveness.
I must say I am truly blessed. After all these years, I have all the trappings of a good life, not opulent but definitely much better than say 60% of Malaysians. I have a wonderful, beautiful, elegant, pious wife. My five children are thankfully fairly inteligent, obedient, healthy, and active. I have a roof over our head, not a huge bungalow with sprawling lawns and four-car porch or a semi-detached abode or even a corner lot. It is just a plain smallish double storey house in the fringe of KL. I have not much saving and it is dwindling rapidly and the credit card debt is mounting. But then, we are still managing. I should not complain.

Turning fifty at the NILAM function

So turning fiffty is not as exciting or scary as many people have thought. I would say,it was just another normal milestone in my journey to wards meeting the Creator.


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