Countdown seven days to go.
If you noticed, my previous entry ended rather abruptly. Actually, I myself did not know what happened, the page simply went blank and suddenly I found the hastily written piece was already published.
Today is another busy day. I am yet to go to TH to arrange for money transfer. The wife insist on clearing all her debts before she goes to Makkah – definitely a good thing to do. I somehow felt like a zombie, must be the swinging effects of the blood sugar content. I hope and pray such things would not hamper my ibadah in Makkah. That is another thing that bothers me now – my health level. Despite being relatively healthy now, apart from the diabetes, I just cannot predict what is going to happen out there under those trying conditions. But then again, I should have faith in Allah. Pasrah as we said in Malay or tawakkal in Arabic.
Somehow I am still not quite capturing the full spirit of the excitement and anticipation of the trip. Others were telling me how eager they were prior to the trip and they simply cannot wait to go. I am bewildered that why don’t I have the same deep rooted feeling. Of course I am excited but the feeling is obfuscated by apprehension. Will I make it? What tests Allah had planned for me?, Will I be sick?, Can I withstand the vagaries of Arafah, Mudzaliffah and Mina? How do I cope with the the urge to go to toilet as often as I do now? All these seemingly silly questions are twirling inside me. Normally I just pushed them away concentrating on the ibadah that I am supposed to do. I calm myself down by repeating the same mantra that Allah knows best and we must have faith in Him.